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Nexus of Shit

by Camboys

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1.
Yeah maybe don't ask me how I'm gonna fuck my boyfriend And offer your hollow apologies And I believed you when you said they were all laughing about I hold your ring finger as we kiss and tell myself I'm fine with this But you know how to get me through this It begins at the Royal Armouries I make a joke about my roulette addication I tell you I can't stand the taste of Southern Comfort I laugh, I joke and say yeah, I was a paid escort? It beings at the Royal Armouries I make a joke, I make a joke, I make a joke
2.
Working late at the morgue again Please come and take me home The bodies are getting restless I turn up my walkman This city's haunted by ghosts and ghouls They're constantly doing my head in but Here we are at the Nexus of Shit Thought you'd find love in this place Thought you'd find some companionship All you got was a vampire bite And now you're possessed Which is a kind of friendship, I suppose A blood-sucking entity tied to your soul This city's haunted by werewolves and dryads They're constantly doing my head in but Here we are at the Nexus of Shit I wish a medical doctor would come and save me This city's haunted by werewolves and ghouls They're constantly doing my head in but Here we are at the Nexus of Shit This city's haunted by werewolves and dryads They're constantly doing my head in but then Here we are at the Nexus of Shit
3.
Got to take myself back to a place where I can start to feel safe I wish it were as easy as getting under the covers or making a cup of tea And I'd like to stop saying I'm fine when I'm not And to quote Cicy "I am really fucking not" Wish I could tell you I need to be held And wish I could tell you I need to talk about it And when any attempt to be social ends with someone saying his name And I sit and shake here in fear, trapped, I can't move "He seems like such a great guy." Filling me with shame Put my head in my hands And blot out the world Wish I could tell you I need to be held And wish I could tell you I need to talk about it Wish I could tell you to just push on my throat sometimes Sometimes I don't deserve anybody's love A bitter taste on my tongue says "Maybe I should drink tonight" Says "Come on, it's just a bit of fun." Can't ever approach safety Yeah, safety's too far from me And when any attempt to be social ends with someone saying his name And I sit and shake here in fear, trapped, I can't move "He seems like such a great guy." Filling me with shame Put my head in my hands And blot out the world I just feel like I'm gonna lose my mind I listened to the songs you sung I listened to the rain
4.
Face pic? I don't wanna know Do you accom? I don't wanna know Do you travel? I don't wanna know Do you top? I don't wanna know I only look for a fuck When I'm feeling low I only wanna suck a dick When I'm home alone Free now? I don't wanna know No Timewasters. I don't wanna know Do you bottom? I don't wanna know Bareback? I don't wanna know I only look for a fuck When I'm feeling low I only wanna suck a dick When I'm home alone And they say People who spend too long in the shower Are just looking for attention And I'm only ever lonely or horny And they say People who spend too long in the bath Are just looking for affection And I think I just need a hug How you doing? Bored. And I'm only ever lonely or horny
5.
Lower Fear 02:50
If our cells completely regenerate every seven years I'm not even the same person anymore How could I have been so stupid?
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about

Trauma, trauma, trauma. It really grinds you down. Recorded over the space of a few weeks, and left to sit for months, these survivor songs are a culmination of lots of processing.

credits

released June 24, 2017

recorded at home by Jack William
with generous support from: Kirsty Fife, Jack Fallows, Jake Maiden, Simon Eastwell and Jamie Wilson
Thank you to all the other camboys: Emily Plumtree, Eva Sanglante, Carl Farrugia, Sophie Slater, Cal Lum, Alex Shaw, Morgan Holleb and Nye Todd.

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Camboys Leeds, UK

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